I’m packed and ready, but for the last-minute items. The trip to Israel I’ve been getting ready for the last six months is finally here. Or is it? The eye problem that has plagued me off and on for years has attacked with a vengeance this time, and seems to have a vise-like grip that the steroid drops aren’t eliminating. I managed to see the eye doctor one more time this week, but am considering trying for one more visit before leaving for the airport.
Along with the pain and discomfort this thing causes in my body, these thoughts bombarded my mind this evening. All along, I’ve tried to remain positive about this trip, because I know the Lord called me to go on this specific trip at this specific time. This night, however, the tears of doubt flowed. I couldn’t hold some very possible thoughts at bay any longer. Finally, I told my husband I was afraid I won’t be going on this trip after all.
My husband prayed for me with authority in Christ, and I was then able to hear the voice of Holy Spirit in my spirit as He gently said, “You’re not afraid that you’re not going. You’re afraid that you are going.” I knew immediately what He meant. It wasn’t a matter of fearing the travel or the tour itself. The real issue, the one I couldn’t see clearly until He opened my eyes to it, is that I feared leaving the doctor. Maybe that seems like a legitimate concern, but there was a greater concern.
My faith was no longer in my Healer, Jesus Christ. My faith was in my doctors. When my faith is totally in Jesus, there is peace and rest and clear direction. When I let my faith move to my doctors instead, fear came in bringing with it confusion, doubt, and probably even stronger symptoms in my physical body!
I’m no longer wavering. I’m going on my trip in the grace of God in Christ, while continuing to use the prescribed eye drops. Good doctors abound in Israel, but I don’t plan to have a need for them. I thank God for again fixing my spiritual eyes on Jesus, the Great Physician, Who is also the Author and Perfecter of my faith. Faith in Christ leaves no room for fear; so, Israel, here I come!