I found encouragement from God’s perspective in another journal conversation with Him. I hope you will, too!
You feel dry and unenthusiastic right now. I know. You want to feel that brimming over with excitement and enthusiasm about Me, about what I’ve done, about the freedom that is yours in Christ.
Steady. That’s what I see. You know what you have been excited and enthusiastic about is still true, though it’s not causing any feelings right now. You’re not turning away, Kay; rather, you’re riding it out. Yes, you heard “ebb and flow,” and you saw a beach with the water coming in and going out. Right now, there are hardly any waves – the water gently lapping at the shore without the crashing of big waves. But it’s still there. You know there will be big waves again – much more exciting.
The question for you is, “Are you living for the big waves?”
I don’t think so, Lord. Maybe there’s a part of me that is, and that’s why I feel in a bit of a funk at times like this, when it seems like I’ve been living too long in the “humdrum.” You’re reminding me of that time so many years ago when I cried out to you from the depths of my being for another experience of Your presence because I felt so dry. When finally I ended my cries, by Your Spirit I declared that even if I never felt Your Presence again, I would be thankful for what You had already revealed. You are real and you are for me, and that doesn’t require feelings.
These many years (and, by the way, many feeling experiences later), I’m aware that You continue to teach me and reveal Yourself to me every time I read the Bible, even if no feelings take place. I no longer doubt Your Presence with me at all, for which I thank You so much, Daddy!
By the same token, though I don’t know when or how, I know the big waves (and their corresponding emotions) will come again. I don’t want to live for the big waves. I want to live in the meantime – truly live – in Christ Jesus, living in Your love and grace in the midst of all that does or does not happen in my natural life. In other words, I want to enjoy the simplicity of “unexciting” days in You.
That’s the steady to which I referred Kay. You’ve been walking in that place, but there’s been a battle in your mind against the peace and rest of walking contentedly in those unexciting days and seasons. Instead of fretting about what you’re not experiencing, you choose to continue to walk in Me and all that I am – not focusing on when you might have another great experience.
No, you’re not living for the big waves, Kay. You’re simply living in Me through Christ – every day.
* photo credit for first picture is Zo-jo at http://www.zo-jo.com