Happy Mother’s Day!

It happened so unexpectedly.  On the way home from a pleasant gathering at a friend’s house for one of those in-home sales parties, I decided to listen to Focus on the Family as they aired a special Mother’s Day broadcast.  At the end of the show, Holy Spirit stirred me to write a letter to my mother for Mother’s Day – completely unexpected since she’s been gone for more than 23 years.

As I listened to the broadcast, I tried to put my finger on some good and happy times from my early years, without success.  Though I know they were there, only the sad times stand out.  I expected this letter would be a way of drawing out those happy memories.  There again was the unexpected.  My Daddy knew what I needed could only happen as I faced those sad memories with His love guiding me every step of the way.

Chronologically, I addressed the specific memories that overshadow the others – all in letter form.  When I brought up the last memory, which happened during the last weeks of her too-short life, the tears flowed.  Though I had forgiven her through the years as each of these things surfaced, it took this difficult and painful task to help me see the whole, rather than the individual parts.  Only then could I get past my self-centered point of view.  At that point, I realized my mother couldn’t give what she didn’t have – what she had never received – though it was available to her.  I ached for the sadness in which she lived that could have been removed by knowing the unconditional love of her Father for her.

Daddy didn’t let me dwell there, though I had to get to that place of looking beyond my own pain to feel my mother’s pain, to have His compassion for her even now.  Holy Spirit then directed me to declare that I am not responsible for my mother’s sadness, nor was I responsible for her happiness.  It wasn’t that she expected me to make her happy or held me responsible for her sadness.  That’s part of the lie the devil has fed my mind repeatedly over the years, but it’s been exposed, and I’ve been freed!

This session of the unexpected was not quite over, however.  One more item to be dealt with, the thing that was really at the root of it all.  You see, a deceptive thread had been woven through my life, with ever-increasing “proof” with each successive memory-maker, that I was abandoned – even up to my mother’s dying days.  But God!  Because of God, I declare that I am not abandoned, never have been abandoned, and never will be abandoned.  Before He formed me in my mother’s womb, He knew me.  All the days ordained for me were written by Him before ever I was born.  Even if my father and mother forsook me, He never has and never will forsake me!1

Now the fruit of all this began to manifest.  I thanked my Father (from my heart) for giving me the mother He gave me, and for her loving and raising me the best she knew how.  Though the good memories haven’t yet returned (and may never), what is different now is the peace in my heart in the midst of the hurtful memories.  Never again can they darken my present or my future as they have in the past!  It’s as if I moved out of my flesh family more fully and moved more fully into my Daddy’s family – that one into which I’ve long-since been adopted through the blood of my Brother, Jesus Christ!

The unexpected interruption brought me through in an unexpected way to the expected end – greater freedom in Christ, greater compassion from Daddy’s heart for others, and greater awareness of His love.  Glory to God forevermore!!!

1Psalm 139: 13, 16;  Psalm 27:10  (Kay’s translation)

A Feast Awaits

I want to consider a well-known story of Jesus’ life found in Matthew 14.  Jesus had just heard about the murder of John the Baptist.  Feeling the pain, as any of us would, He went away by Himself in a boat to be in the Presence of His Father while mourning the loss of His beloved friend.  Because He ministered as a man filled with the Holy Spirit, not as God, Jesus understood His need to be refueled and refreshed before continuing to minister all the Father had for Him.  It’s a good thing He did, too, for He was no longer alone when He landed the boat (v. 14).  Many people had followed Him and were waiting there for His return and ministry.  Contrary to what we might have done in similar circumstances, Jesus didn’t ask them to leave Him alone to tend to His personal need.  He had compassion and pity on the people, seeing them through the eyes of His Father.  It was from that place He ministered to them, healing all their sick.

Certainly, this lesson of my Lord’s dying to His fleshly needs challenges me to do likewise, but the impact of what I saw as I continued reading is the main point of this blog post.  Think about the people who have come to Jesus in this place.  From what I can gather, they only followed Him because they wanted a specific thing from Him, a healing.  It appears, though, that they remained with Him even after receiving their healings.  Why?  There was something about being with Jesus that made them willing to remain in His Presence, even after receiving that for which they came.  What was the result of their lingering with Him?  Jesus took the opportunity to give them more than they expected, meeting their physical hunger with a miraculous feast of fish and bread!  As if that weren’t enough, He not only gave them enough merely to stave off their hunger, but they all ate until satisfied, with twelve baskets full to spare!  (v. 20)

Now think about this from Jesus’ perspective.  He came to earth to do the will of His Father, and to do it completely.  (John 4:34)  Even though He came from heaven, He spent much time in the Father’s Presence while here among us.  He needed to seek the Father’s will for each day, and also needed to be re-filled with the Holy Spirit so He would be anointed to do all that the Father’s will required.  If He hadn’t stayed out on that boat alone with the Lord as long as He did, perhaps He wouldn’t have been in position, spiritually and emotionally, to have heard and obeyed every detail of the Father’s plan in this remote place.  He might have sent the people away without the food, and the lesson of God’s abundant provision for those who trust Him!  But He didn’t.  He lingered with His Father, and He received all He needed to give to and for us!

If Jesus found this the only way to live fully the life He was here to live, why do we think we can live any other way?  The people in the wilderness, not even having the benefit of being born again, were willing to stay in the Presence of Jesus beyond making their immediate needs known, and without expecting anything more.  If we’ll only learn to wait, enjoying those precious moments in His presence, how much more of Him will He be able to impart to us!  How much more fully will we know, and be able to do, the will of our heavenly Father – just because we have waited on and with Him!  As those in the wilderness found, so we will find there is a feast that is more than enough for us!    

Isaiah 40:31 (KJV)  “But they that wait upon the Lord  shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.”