Frustrating Imperfection

I have an imperfection in my character – well, maybe more than one.  It’s not something I’m proud of, or something I simply excuse as just the way I am.  I’ve read and pleaded and declared the pertinent Bible verses over myself more times than I can remember.  Yet, I still struggle, seemingly without any improvement.  Just when it feels like I’m walking in greater freedom and victory in Christ, when I haven’t been staring at the imperfection for a while, I happen to run into any of the angst-triggering passages in the Bible again.

I came upon an older journal entry recently in which Daddy and I had a conversation about this very issue.  As I began to write, I was angry.  Yet, my wonderful and loving Father not only helped me return to peace, but also revealed the self-imposed source of the anger and frustration.  What follows is a portion of that journal entry, and His insight that set me free.  May you hear Him speak to you in your own imperfect places.

. . . That’s why you are angry at Me – though, you really aren’t.  You’ve been deceived into perceiving I’m against you, even though you know that’s a lie.

And, Kay, I’m not mad at you at all – not even for having followed that subtle deceptive trail My enemy set up for you.

Thank You, Daddy.  So what do I do when I bump up against these familiar passages again and again – the ones that are so uncomfortable to me and seem so contrary to what You have been revealing?

Kay, what if you never get a grasp of it while in your mortal body? What if this part of your character / behavior never changes?  You know you’ll not be perfect in thought, word, and behavior until you are no longer encumbered by flesh.  Yet that is the standard you strive for – your own perfection.  And it’s your downfall every time – and your frustration and your separation from Me (on your part, not Mine.) The standard is Jesus Christ and His perfection – not how you compare to Him . . . but who you are in Him.

In Christ alone I place my trust – even with my imperfections here on earth.  What a glorious Savior!  What a wonderful and loving Father!

Proverbs 3:5-6  NIV  Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths.

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