I have an imperfection in my character – well, maybe more than one. It’s not something I’m proud of, or something I simply excuse as just the way I am. I’ve read and pleaded and declared the pertinent Bible verses over myself more times than I can remember. Yet, I still struggle, seemingly without any improvement. Just when it feels like I’m walking in greater freedom and victory in Christ, when I haven’t been staring at the imperfection for a while, I happen to run into any of the angst-triggering passages in the Bible again.
I came upon an older journal entry recently in which Daddy and I had a conversation about this very issue. As I began to write, I was angry. Yet, my wonderful and loving Father not only helped me return to peace, but also revealed the self-imposed source of the anger and frustration. What follows is a portion of that journal entry, and His insight that set me free. May you hear Him speak to you in your own imperfect places.
. . . That’s why you are angry at Me – though, you really aren’t. You’ve been deceived into perceiving I’m against you, even though you know that’s a lie.
And, Kay, I’m not mad at you at all – not even for having followed that subtle deceptive trail My enemy set up for you.
Thank You, Daddy. So what do I do when I bump up against these familiar passages again and again – the ones that are so uncomfortable to me and seem so contrary to what You have been revealing?
Kay, what if you never get a grasp of it while in your mortal body? What if this part of your character / behavior never changes? You know you’ll not be perfect in thought, word, and behavior until you are no longer encumbered by flesh. Yet that is the standard you strive for – your own perfection. And it’s your downfall every time – and your frustration and your separation from Me (on your part, not Mine.) The standard is Jesus Christ and His perfection – not how you compare to Him . . . but who you are in Him.
In Christ alone I place my trust – even with my imperfections here on earth. What a glorious Savior! What a wonderful and loving Father!
Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths.