Even as I poured out my heart on the pages of the journal, receiving clarification in the midst of it, I knew it was to be posted in the blogosphere. Not to focus on me and my inner mess / workings. I prefer to let the Lord do His work on me in secret, so you see only the new, improved version. Apparently, our Daddy wants a few more of you to receive the same sweet release His Spirit brought me this morning in these words. . .
As much as I’ve been struggling inside for a while now, it’s been me in my own strength struggling and trying to understand, to figure out, to look the part and convince myself (of what???). But it’s really the old dead me seeking to stay in control even while the new me in Christ wants nothing beyond living by His Spirit, trusting Him 100%. I haven’t fully reckoned myself dead; thus, the struggle.
Oh, Daddy, how can this dead man continue to exert so much influence?
Maybe it’s not a greater revelation of reckoning myself dead, but of new creation in Christ I so need to grasp. Which all goes back to in Christ, period. As in, focusing on Him, knowing Him more intimately – the fullness of who He really is and of what He really did for me.
After all, I can’t kill the old man in me – the flesh – no matter how much I’d like to or how hard I try. In actuality, the more focus I give that dead creature, the stronger its hold. Furthermore, I already died with Christ in His death and was raised with Him in new life – a new creation. Already done. Not needing to be done. It is finished!
Help me fully rest in this, Holy Spirit, fully trusting my Jesus – the Way, Truth, and Life. Help me keep letting go of all the “what about…” questions every time they come up, no matter how many times they come up. Help me choose to remember, instead, that I am in Christ. Period.
In Christ alone! My only hope! Yes, in Christ alone, my only Hope! My rest! My peace! My righteousness! My joy! Jesus Christ, my Life! My All! And in Christ, I am a new creation! Period.
To Make Christ Known 
Kay I don’t know how you do it but your blogs are like they came out of my heart. I so struggle with my dead self. I pray everyday to believe and trust the Lord completely but like the centurion soldier I cry “Lord I believe, but help my unbelief”. I always want to fix things.
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Donna, if you were the only person who needed this, I’m glad Holy Spirit made it so pressing that I posted it as soon as I got it myself. It was “hot off the press” of my heart, which means I’m still repeating it to myself. May we both find His sweet rest that is ours because of Christ’s perfect belief – not ours. 🙂
Love,
Kay
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