Changes continue for me and my writing. The Lord spoke to my heart on the pages of my journal again, and what He spoke is for now.
I considered my writing to be transparent, but realize I have actually been quite guarded in my transparency. 🙂 Daddy has made clear that it’s time for my guard to come down. It’s called trusting Him more. I’m not sure exactly what the posts will look like, and expect Holy Spirit to make changes regularly. However, I am certain you will feel as if you are listening to a private conversation between a Father and His child – for that is what it is. This child sometimes questions, sometimes withdraws, sometimes marvels, and sometimes has tantrums, but she always wants to know her Daddy more. And she wants His other children to know Him more, too.
I invite you to listen in as He reveals this very thing to me . . .
It’s not my job to convince (or even try to) others of what the Lord reveals to me. As soon as He begins to show me something, my mind goes into “How do I write this?” or, “How do I tell this?” mode – all for the purpose of convincing others . . . not convincing them that it is “Truth” or “right” or “God,” though I fully believe it is. But, reality check. It’s so “they” will not reject me for yet one more “oddity.”
If I had to draw what it looks like, there’s this large group of people around me – seemingly connected by Christianity. With each new revelation of Daddy, of Jesus, of Holy Spirit, of the kingdom of heaven, some of those people drop away from me. Over time, the group gets smaller and smaller – noticeably so – to the point that I’m aware of what sharing another revelation will mean. While I want very much to be so much more aware of my Jesus everywhere, in every situation, and be radically set free from the things of this world, there’s still one big thing of this world that hinders – the desire to be liked, agreed with, approved of, accepted. Thus, the effort to explain “logically” to convince my readers, hearers, acquaintances, etc., so they’ll not leave me.
And what does that do? It keeps me from experiencing in full that which my Daddy is revealing to me. It’s not that He won’t have others exposed to it through me. It’s that it’s not my job to expose them, to explain “it,” to convince them.
Neither is it my responsibility to keep people liking, accepting, approving of, or attached to me in any way. This is not in your face: “I’ll be who I am and if you don’t like it, forget you.” Rather, it’s the love walk of Christ. I AM lives in me, loves me, loves you; therefore, I love you unconditionally and will not intentionally offend or harm or reject you in any way. By the same token, I understand that what I know of our Christ and of our Daddy may be so radically different from, even opposed to, what you have known thus far as to create a divide you feel you will no longer cross in order to maintain any form of relationship. It doesn’t affect Christ’s love for either of us. And it doesn’t affect my love for you, either, even if we never have contact again until we are in heaven seeing clearly what neither of us ever could while on earth.
My writer’s instinct is to bring this all together, to tie it up with some nice, neat closing. But, it’s not my job! Besides, that’s where that particular revelation ended that day. Conversations with Daddy are like that – ongoing. I daresay We will revisit this very conversation many times, possibly every time someone disagrees with me. That’s part of this journey of life and love in Christ.
Stay tuned . . .
One thought on “Not My Job”
I love you because you are who you are, a dear sister in Christ who is willing to bear her soul to the world….you are a rare breed, I mean that as a compliment, I thank God that he brought us together…you challenge me many times and I welcome them. Love, your sister in Christ, Kathy