At first, I didn’t understand it so clearly.  The well-meaning nurse called me from the waiting room with such an almost audible “Poor thing” in her expression as she ushered me back for the diagnosis.  I hadn’t anticipated the pity, nor my internal reaction.  I was repulsed by the pity, and determined I wanted no part of it during this journey.  It just didn’t belong to me.

Two days later, we were at the specialist’s office.  When I arrived and saw the big, bold letters proudly declaring Derrick G. Davis Cancer Center, it felt like a punch in my gut.  It was surreal to me, because it was so new to my thought processes.  But there was still that voice inside insisting I didn’t belong here.

A month later, I was recovering from a hysterectomy.  The nurse assigned to me explained the daily shots required, even at home, to reduce the chance of blood clots.  Some people only have them for a few days, she said, while others continue injections for a couple of weeks.  We decided we’d both like for me to be one of those few day types.  The doctor’s explanation, however, was that cancer patients have a greater possibility of developing clots following surgery.  He said more, but I didn’t really hear the rest, because the voice inside surprised me.  “I am not a cancer patient!  I had cancer, and I’ve had surgery to remove it, but I am not a cancer patient.”  Now I understood the battle more clearly.

Approximately six weeks later, on what I thought would be my final visit with the oncology doctor,  I found out that I will see him every three months for the next two years for a pap smear, with a chest x-ray every six months.  For the following three years, there will be a pap smear every six months, along with one x-ray per year.  This is required even though the lab results showed no trace of cancer in any of the 23 lymph nodes they removed, and none of the tests prior to surgery indicated anything else of concern.  You see, as I said in the beginning, I’m known as a cancer patient by the medical community, and probably always will be.  But cancer patient is not my identity.

Neither am I a cancer survivor.  Cancer was found in my body, but it could not become my identity, because I am in Christ and Christ is in me, the hope of glory.  Cancer has no place in my identity.  In Christ, I am not a survivor of anything.  I am more than a conqueror through Him Who loved me!  This is my identity.

Certainly, this time of my life has had quite a profound impact, and I will never forget it.  But my focus is on Jesus and what He did before, during, and after the crisis.  Jesus Christ, the Living Word, strengthened and encouraged me in my darkest times.  Jesus Christ, the living Word, went before me to bear even this cancer so I could walk in health.  No matter how the world identifies me, I know that the Greater One lives in me.  In Him, in Jesus Christ, I live and move and have my being.  My identity is in Christ alone!

Real Joy (chorus)

New Song Fellowship Celebration Choir – Portraits of Worship, Volume 2

What we fail to consider in the midst of the excitement of a new year beginning is life continuing to happen in the new year, much as it did in the old.  Maybe not the exact same things, but we can be sure there will be challenges of many different kinds over the course of a year.  We tend to let those difficulties and challenges color our recollection of the old year.  We miss so much living this way, but we don’t have to.  While Jesus assured us we would have troubles in this world, He also gave us a different way to live in the midst of those troubles.  Take heart, I have overcome the world!¹

It’s called a new mindset, with a focus not of this world.  It’s called living in God’s daily grace.  Many years ago, while caring for my aging father, I began to learn the only way to stay above being overwhelmed with all I had to do, for however many days upon days, months upon months, or years upon years it would continue.  Though my self-pitying prayer always concerned how much longer I would have to live this way, He guided me lovingly back to living in His grace for me . . . today.  That was all I needed for the situation and the day – His daily grace.

You see, our Jesus is always with us – present tense – and His grace is always with us in the present, not the future.  So, regarding this calendar year, listen to the prophetic voices if you want.  Let Holy Spirit stir your hope and give you direction in the midst of it.  Just remember, He won’t show you everything you will face this year because He knows it’s more than you can handle.²  But He will walk with you through every hour of every day, and His grace will be sufficient.

It’s amazing how much less power the negative stuff of life has over you when you choose to live with this daily grace mindset.  You will find yourself looking up to Jesus and His grace in that peace that passes all natural understanding, even in the midst of unforeseen and severe troubles.

Because of the daily grace of our God in Christ Jesus, we can daily declare Psalm 118:24, regardless of what we face:  This is the day the Lord has made; that’s why I will rejoice and be glad in it. (KPV – Kay’s personal version)

Happy New Day! 

Since we are only 1 ½ weeks from Christmas Day, most people are probably heading into frantic mode with gatherings, shopping, wrapping, cooking, etc.  It is my prayer that this song will minister that same sense of joy and peace to you as you listen, and maybe even sing along.  After all, what we really need, always, is to focus on Emmanuel, Christ with us.  Let’s Ring the Bells!

Let it not be the words of this post that reveal more of Your love for us, Abba, Daddy.  But may Your loving presence be tangible – in the way they need – to each one who hears the words of Your heart.  And may each one experience greater freedom because of knowing personally Your amazing love more fully.  Because of Jesus Christ and for Your glory, I ask this in full assurance of faith.  Amen.

John 3:16  NIV  For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

His love wasn’t just to get you to heaven.  It was to restore, through Jesus Christ, relationship with Him here and now – because He loves you.

God loves you.  Your creator loves you.  Jesus, your Redeemer loves you.  Just as you are.  Eat, drink, and sleep with this, beloved brothers and sisters.  Let it go deeper than ever before.  God loves you.